I am going to be totally honest, life with five children is REALLY hard. It's fall into bed on the verge of death each night hard. I am on the go from the second I put my feet on the floor in the morning and I don't stop until....well I never really stop. My days are a blur of activity. If I actually get a moment to sit down then I find myself feeling guilty that I am not "insert activity here" (folding laundry, doing the dishes, reading to the kids, playing with the dogs, running the vacuum, etc...).
Despite how hard it is though, I love my life! I love having five kids! I grew up as an only child and I always envied my friends who had siblings. It seemed like such a great thing to be surrounded by noise and chaos. There was always a buddy to play or argue with. Holidays were always more fun and their houses were always full of such a variety of playthings. So, when Carlos and I got married we said we would have five kids. Of course, after we had Annie we thought that maybe two would be good. Along came Megan and she was a tough baby. So, two seemed like a good number. Of course, if you fast forward a couple of years you find out that two wasn't quite enough. Along came Lily and she made Megan seem like the easiest kid on the planet. I swore I was done! If you check out my side bar then you see that I was not done. Enter Noah, my first son. I love having a son! He is wild and crazy in a way that little girls aren't. He is Mommy's little man and is constantly in motion. When he was a baby I often told anyone who would listen that I would have lots more kids if I knew they were going to be like Noah. However, as he has gotten older he has gotten harder. I know that he will have his fair share of ER visits and he will give me gray hair long before my girls do. So, once again I swore I was finished. Three girls and a boy seemed like a nice little family. There didn't need to be anymore. We were done!
Yeah right! Along came Claire! She is the sweetest baby and I can't imagine our family without her. She reminds me of Annie as a baby. She is pretty laid back and has such a sweet smile. I am hoping that she will continue to favor Annie in personality...Annie is my easiest kid by far. Claire is the perfect combination of chubby legs, sweet smelling head and baby gurgles. I love every minute I spend with her. I honestly don't mind waking up in the middle of the night to nurse her. I find myself treasuring those quiet moments because I am 100% certain that she will be my last baby. My pregnancy with Claire was hard on my body. I had a few medical issues and even had to undergo surgery after she was born. I think that no matter what my heart tells me or how sad I may be to be holding my last "baby", I have to admit that physically I am done. My body told me so and I am going to listen.
So, I look ahead to all the wonderful things about having our last baby. There is an end in sight to buying diapers and baby gates! Family vacations will be more manageable without new babies and pregnant Moms. Sleepless nights will become less frequent, although they will never really go away. I can finally exercise and spend time improving me without a pregnancy sneaking in there to foul things up. Maybe I can even manage to carve out time for dentist and doctor appointments for myself! Oh the luxury! Of course, the best thing about Claire being our last baby is that I can finally appreciate and spend time with the children I have. I spent my whole pregnancy telling my children that I was too tired to do something or that I was too sick to do something. I can now finally find the energy to actually do stuff with my kids! I am sure you are wondering where I find that energy and I don't really know. I just know that I certainly have more energy now than I did while I was pregnant.
Yes, the days are hard. Five kids are a challenge. However, I will survive and I will look back on this time in my life with a smile.